Life and Death
by TheCrystalSword
Summary: It was just a thought that occurred him, but that thought became a question, and that became a reality- and it was not a good thought. Blues's core had always been a major problem in his life, but when it decided to act up, it became a problem for Rock, too. (RockxBlues)


**RP: Life and Death**

_Life._

_Do… Do robots count as 'alive'? _

The thought continued to bother Blues as he walked into the main room of the house. Slowly, it began to consume his mind- _do robots have 'lives'? Surely, I'm not worthy of 'life'… _

It _wouldn't go away_. The question repeated itself over and over and _over _again, refusing to leave him alone, until he ended up blurting it out to Rock.

"Do robots have lives?"

"Well, duh." Rock looked up at him innocently from the couch and the book he'd been reading. "Why?"

Blues paused. _Why? _Was there a reason? There _had_ to be a reason. But…

"I… I don't know." Blues turned away dejectedly.

Rock closed his book and stood up, walking over to Blues and wrapping his arms around his torso, burying his face in Blues's chest. "What's wrong?" His voice was slightly muffled and he was obviously worried.

Blues could already feel the heat rising sharply to his skin, and he hoped Rock hadn't noticed yet.

Too late.

Rock giggled. "You're all blushy and warm." And then he smiled widely. "It's kinda nice…"

…Which only served to make Blues blush more. "You know, you're making it _really difficult _to think right now…" Blues began to squirm feebly, making a weak attempt to free himself from Rock's grasp.

Rock tightened his grip. "See, now I'm just gonna hold harder just to spite you." He said in a lighthearted tone. He was trying desperately to keep _himself_ from blushing, to no avail.

At this point, it was taking all of Blues's willpower to actually continue struggling. Most of him would have preferred to just surrender completely to the hug. "L- Let go…" He protested weakly, though all the fight was quickly draining out of him.

"I don't think so…" Rock looked up at Blues's face again. "However," He said, grinning mischievously. "I can make you a deal."

Blues hesitated. "What do you mean?"

Rock glanced over at the couch. "We can go talk over there." Looking back at Blues, he grinned, blushing slightly. "Or, I can keep you here... _FOREVERRRRRRRRRR._"

Blues laughed a little. "Over there is fine by me." And then he smiled playfully. "Y'know, 'FOREVERRRRR' is a _really _long time. It's much longer than a normal forever. But, why there and not here?"

"Because I'm sleepy, that's why. It's more comfortable, and _much_ better to talk on." He said matter-of-factly.

Blues shrugged, trying not to blush any harder than he already was. "Okay." He said simply. He walked over to the couch and sat down.

Rock skipped over to him happily, proud of his accomplishment. "Now," he said, making himself comfortable on the couch. "Explain yourself."

_Explain myself…? Explain… What… _

_ Oh. _

Blues sighed sadly. For _just a moment,_ he'd managed to forget, had allowed Rock to _make_ him forget. "I… It's just…" And he trailed off, his throat tightening with the sudden grief he felt.

Rock's happiness turned into sudden concern. Grabbing his hand, he looked at Blues seriously. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but if you do, take your time. It's okay."

And that was what caused him to break.

_He cares about me. He cares, and yet, I don't deserve his concern… _

Blues's lower lip trembled, and he could _feel_ himself start to cry, and as he did so, he couldn't help but hatehimself for showing weakness, hate himself for _crying,_ because he knew it would only make Rock feel _worse,_ and hate himself for that, too, and suddenly he was drowning in his own self-loathing. He tried vainly to keep himself from giving in and crying on Rock's shoulder- and ended up doing that, anyway, and sobbed weakly.

"Don't you _get_ it?" Blues wailed. "M- My core's been breaking down for so long, and I- I'm-" He hesitated a moment. He hadn't really been intending to say that, but it slipped out before he could stop himself. He _really _hadn't wanted to say that, because he knew it would only hurt Rock. Well, too late now, he might as well finish what he began to say…

_"…Dying." _

Rock thought very hard before he spoke. He knew Blues well enough by now to know what was going on inside his head. He planted a sad little smile on his face before he sat up. "You're going to be okay, Dr. Light will find a way to help you, and..." He threw his arms around Blues's neck, and whispered, almost in tears, "I won't let you die..."

For a long time, Blues didn't move. For a while, he allowed himself to believe what Rock had said, to believe that it could be okay, could be fixed, that he had a future beyond the agony he constantly felt, beyond succumbing to a fate he had no control over. The worst part of it was that _he didn't really care that he was dying._ Some wretched part of him felt that he deserved it, that he wasn't worth it anyway, had no future anyway and was never meant to, because the ugly truth was that he was nothing more than a _prototype,_ a disposable being whose only purpose had been to demonstrate what a robot might be, someday, when technology could handle it-

And not only that, he had been a_ failure._ He had never even been intended to have a free will, or feelings, and the simple fact that he did was an _insult_ to the humans, the humans who weren't ready to accept that a robot could be something _more_ than a collection of wires and metal, more than an unfeeling, lifeless metal _doll _in the shape of a person, the humans who weren't ready to accept _him_. He was an utter failure, and his core, his malfunctioning core, his _heart, _only proved it. And yet, it wasn't his own life he was truly worried about. No, he'd never really been too fond of himself or his life.

It was _Rock_. Rock would probably be the only one to mourn his death, to grieve for the prototype that never had a future to begin with, the disposable person who was slowly falling apart, slowly fading away.

Rock, the only person who ever truly cared about him, who he truly cared about, the only person he _loved_. The thought of Rock in pain because of him was more than he could bear.

Rock was barely able to hold back tears. "Blues, everyone needs you." he took a deep breath and let go of him. He looked him in the eyes and said "I need you... please, trust Dr. Light, and if you don't trust him, trust _me!_ We will find a way to fix you!" He finally gave up and tears began streaking down his face. "I don't want you to die..."

Blues opened his mouth to speak, trying to gather up the words, and the courage to speak them. "Y- You know I can't stand Dr. Light. But I-" And he paused, yet again gathering up what was left of his strength. His love was stronger than his fear. "I… I trust you. Just, _promise me…_" He said, his voice shaking, taking on a desperate tone.

"What?"

Blues shuddered with horror. "Just, please… If you truly have to take me to Dr. Light, don't-" And Blues's voice broke. "Don't _leave_ me…" His voice was shaky, desperate and pleading and fearful. His eyes met Rock's, and they were filled with terror and helplessness.

For the third time within the span of twenty minutes, Rock reached over and hugged Blues, but this was no joke, and he wasn't just throwing himself onto him. He was trying to comfort the one person he loved most in the world.

_"Never."_ Rock's voice was shaking almost as badly as Blues's. "I will never, _ever,_ leave you."

Blues did not move for a long time, and he thought about what Rock had said.

_I will never leave you. _The words echoed through his mind pleasantly, and he managed a small smile. They were such soothing words. They were so kind, they were almost painful. He felt a small, familiar aching sensation somewhere inside him.

It took him too long to realize that the feeling had nothing to do with his emotions, too long to understand why it was so familiar.

It was his core.

He wrenched himself away from Rock as he was struck by a wave of agony, and he clutched his chest, gasping with pain. _No, not now, not this, not here, please, I can't die yet-_

Blues's vision blurred, and he cried out in anguish, fighting to remain conscious.

"B-Blues?!" Rock was panicking. Blues was in agony, and yet there was _nothing he could do._ Searching for anyway to make himself useful, he tried to talk to his friend. "Blues, I-I think I should get Dr. Light..."

Blues fell, overcome by pain, collapsing to the floor. He couldn't think straight, couldn't form a coherent thought under the horrible pressure of everything coming down on him all at once.

Rock gave up, and spoke to him while he lifted his sensitive body onto one of the tables. "Blues, I'm going to call Dr. Light and tell him to get here ASAP." He said as he pulled out a cell phone. After a quick and slightly panicky conversation, Rock closed the cell phone and stared at the body of Blues. Taking his hand, Rock whispered, "I won't leave. I'll be here the whole time. You'll live." He kissed his forehead and sat waiting for Dr. Light to come home.

Blues squeezed his hand. "You promise?" He managed to ask, a question he hissed out through his clenched teeth, filled with pain and fear.

"I promise." Rock said, squeezing Blues's hand and trying to look sure of himself.

Blues tried to smile a little, as though trying to mask the pain he felt so that Rock wouldn't worry about him. It didn't work, he couldn't even manage a tiny smile. But honestly, he was just grateful that Rock was there with him for once, and it was the first time he didn't have to suffer through this all alone.

Rock, however, was terrified. He was trying with everything he had in him to look sure of himself, because Blues had to be scared… so Rock tried to have courage enough for both of them, praying that Dr. Light would get home soon.

And of course he didn't.

Blues began to feel a bit calmer as time went on, and he dared to hope that it would just _go away,_ and then-

Well, _of course_ it didn't.

No, it only got stronger.

Blues cried out as he was attacked by another unexpected wave of pain from his core. Writhing in agony, he ended up falling off the table before Rock could stop him, which only made it worse, the pain of hitting the floor adding to what he was already feeling.

Rock was going _insane_.

He had no idea how to help Blues, but Blues was in such pain... It physically _hurt_ to see Blues like this.

"Blues, what can I do?" Rock asked as he knelt down. He was crying again, he couldn't help it, he felt useless. "Please, there's got to be something I can do..."

It was useless.

Blues's hearing and vision were fading in and out, and he couldn't understand the words spoken to him, all he knew was the anguish that was consuming him, and even more importantly than that, that _he couldn't hear Rock, couldn't see Rock,_ and every second of it was pure agony. The pain was too much, the loneliness was too much, and suddenly everything was _too much_ for him to bear, and- and-

And he passed out, his body going limp.

"Blues!" Rock yelled, grabbing hold of him and shaking him by the shoulders."Blues, wake up! Come on!" He has sobbing now, his breath short and shallow. He couldn't speak louder than a whisper. "P-Please... you can't just...die... Don't die. I love you..."

Blues was completely unresponsive, and his head lolled listlessly as Rock shook him.

Rock tried to lift Blues back onto the table, but he was shaking too badly. He eventually managed to lift him, but when he finally got him onto the table, he had lost every scrap of energy in him. He sat on the chair, scooting it even closer to the table and to Blues's hand, intertwining it with his own. "I'll be here the whole time, Blues. I _promise..._"

There was a sound from the other room, the sound of the front door opening and closing, objects in shopping bags being tossed onto the kitchen table, and in a moment Dr. Light was there. "Goodness!" The doctor exclaimed. "What is going on now?"

Rock's head shot up and he dashed over to Dr. Light. "Blues's core is acting up again! Please, please save him!"

Dr. Light became concerned. "Help me get him to the lab. I just went out to get more parts for repairs, and hopefully I can help him before it's too late…"

Blues lay on a table in the basement while Dr. Light examined him, the lab computer displaying various data about him, none of which looked very good.

"Hmm…" Dr. Light said, perplexed. "Rock, this may have been worse than I initially thought. There's a good chance that I won't be able to fix him… You may want to leave for this."

Rock shook his head vigorously "No, I want to stay with him." He looked anxiously at Blues. "I promised…" He mumbled quietly to himself.

Dr. Light shrugged in acceptance. "Alright, if that is what you want…" Then he checked the computer, frowning. After a moment, he turned back to Blues and began to work.

After a long time, Dr. Light sighed unhappily. "Rock…" He began hesitantly. "I am afraid that if I try to fix him anymore, I might end up making it worse."

Tears began to form in Rock's eyes, but he blinked them back, trying to think clearly. "W-what? How do we fix him, then?"

Dr. Light shook his head. "It… It's very difficult. You see, Protoman was built quite a long time ago, and the parts he was made with are outdated nowadays. Not only that, but- well, after Protoman ran away, Dr. Wily got a hold of him and messed around with his systems. I don't really recognize the way they work anymore. If I try to mess with it right now, I might end up worsening the problem in his core, or something worse. I…" And the doctor shook his head again. "I just don't know, Rock. I just don't know. I hate to tell you this, but… He might be done for."

Rock was almost in tears again, but now he wasn't just scared, he was angry.

"His name is _Blues,_ why don't you call him that!? He's not just a _prototype_ anymore, he's a _person_!" Rock's hands were clenched in rage. "And if _you_ can't fix him, maybe I should just go to Wily and see if _he _can! He's done it before…"

Dr. Light was hurt. "Rock, you don't understand. You _can't _take him to Wily, because Wily has no use for him anymore. Wily only fixed him in the first place simply because he wanted to examine a robot so he could make some of his own, and his core problem wasn't nearly as bad back then. Plus, if you recall, he ended up working for Dr. Wily after he was fixed, and now he would never do that because he's too loyal to you. Wily has no use for him now, and if anything, he might destroy him on purpose just to spite you, and then destroy you, too, in your grief. Not only that, but he wouldn't survive the teleport, and he probably wouldn't survive through the time it would take to carry him there, either."

"And…" Dr. Light continued, taking a deep breath. "There's a good reason I don't call him Blues. It wasn't his name, originally, that was Protoman. 'Blues' is the name he gave to himself, as a symbol of his free will, and he only lets those who are close to him use it. So, you, and nobody else. He told me specifically that I was not to call him that. And- it's not like I don't _want_ to fix him, Rock! It's that it might not _work. _I might even end up wiping his memory banks, or- or something. Do you _really_ think I _enjoy _watching him suffer? _No._ I'm just fearful that I might end up putting him in more pain, or _killing _him…"

"I- I know..." Rock looked at the ground, ashamed. "I'm sorry... I'm just... so _scared_." He looked back at Dr Light, then to Blues again. "I don't want to lose him." And he finally started crying again. "Please, there has to be something I can do... some way to help him!"

Dr. Light considered. "I think that being here for him is, in itself, the best thing anyone can do for him. I'll do my best to fix him. If you'd like, you can sit here." He said, gesturing to the space next to Blues.

Rock simply nodded, murmuring thanks. He sat beside Blues, with his back to the doctor, holding Blues's hand and hoping everything would turn out okay.

It took hours.

At some point, the doctor uttered a loud curse word and dashed to the computer, staring in dismay at the text that appeared there.

_AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED, DATA HAS BEEN CORRUPTED. _

Rock had been drifting in and out of a restless sleep for a few hours, but now he was fully awake, alert, and by Light's side within seconds. He was horrified. "Oh no…" His eyes were wide with fear. He looked at the doctor, hoping he had some kind of idea.

Dr. Light drew in a shaky breath. "Rock," He said slowly. "I'm going to need your help."

_"Anything."_ Rock said quickly.

"I've got a plan." Said Dr. Light. "I have a backup of his data on the computer, but… It's kinda old. It may not work so well anymore. But I might be able to fill in the blanks with things from _your_ data to complete it and make it operational again. I can keep that stored here on the computer until I'm completely finished with his repairs, and try to upload it to him. I must warn you, though, his systems might reject it as foreign data. And there's still a chance that I won't be able to fix him…"

By the time Dr. Light had finished talking, Rock was already at the desk with the computer. "Do it."

"Alright." Dr. Light said. He tapped a few buttons and turned to Rock again, hooking him up to the computer. It took a while, but Dr. Light finally managed to make it work properly. "That _should_ work. Now, I just have to finish the repairs…" He said with a nervous frown.

Which took _more _hours.

After what felt like forever, it was done, and the data was accepted without too much of a problem. All that was left to do was try to reboot Blues and see if it worked- no, if _he _worked. Dr. Light's hand hovered over the button, and he hesitated a little, as though afraid that their efforts were in vain after all, and would yield nothing.

"Do you want to do it?" Dr. Light asked Rock.

For a moment, Rock had a look of pure horror on his face, terrified of hurting Blues more than he already was, but it eventually turned into a determined, almost stubborn, look and he nodded. "I'll do it."

He reached over and pushed the button that he hoped would save Blues.

Nothing happened.

Rock looked at Light, terrified.

Dr. Light turned away, not able to meet his gaze. "I- I'm sorry, Rock…"

"No..." Rock's voice could barely be heard, even by him. "No... I promised I wouldn't let him die." He was unable to comprehend it. "Blues... is... dead? But _how_? I- I _promised..._"

Dr. Light shifted uncomfortably. For a long time, he didn't say anything.

"I'm so sorry, Rock… I did the best I could, but- I'm so sorry…" He said solemnly.

Rock couldn't hear him. He looked at Blues, lying on the table, his entire world tightened into that one, lifeless, body. "My fault... _all my fault..._" He muttered under his breath. He was staring at his hands- the hands that had failed to save the one person in the world they loved most.

Something happened.

It was just a small something, so small it almost went undetected, but Rock saw it- Blues's chest rise and fall with his breathing, his very shallow breathing.

"Blues..." He breathed.

He ran to the table, taking his hand. "Blues! Can you hear me?"

Dr. Light, who hadn't noticed, just sighed. "It's no use, Rock-" He began.

Blues shifted and made a protesting sound like "Hmmhm_mmph_…"

Rock laughed. "Doctor, he's alive!"

Blues tried to sit up, rubbing his head. "Hm_m_m_mm_wh... who's alive, I'm confused…?" He mumbled.

Rock took one look at his baffled face and kissed him.

When they finally pulled apart, Rock hugged him so hard he could barely breathe. "Thank god, you're alive." His voice was shaky and he was on the verge of yet another batch of tears.

Blues was confused, Dr. Light was _really _confused, Rock was nearly crying, Blues was concerned about Rock because he was about to cry, no one had any time to pay attention to Dr. Light's confusion because- because- _who cares?_

Blues held Rock, trying to console him. "It's okay, I'm okay…"

When Rock was finally able to convince himself to let go of Blues, he turned to Dr Light. "Thank you for saving him. I owe you."

Dr. Light was still seriously confused, and he just nodded and left, wordlessly.

Blues was slightly miffed that he wasn't being hugged anymore. "I, uhm… uh…" He began, trying to form words properly, and failing.

As soon as Dr Light was gone, Rock whirled around and kissed Blues again. Breathlessly, he finally spoke. "I love you… There, I got that out." His face was almost the exact color of Blues's shirt (which was very red).

Blues's face was just about the same shade of red as Rock's was- he was more prone to embarrassment and blushing when he wasn't overcome by grief or pain or confusion, and it was plainly showing. Blues made another futile attempt to speak, which ended up sounding like "Th- wh- ah, uhm- thfthwhhh…"

Rock explained. "Your core nearly broke down, but Dr. Light got here in time to fix it."

Clearly, Blues wasn't too concerned with that at the moment, and he almost seemed not to hear. "_Wha… _wh- y- you… I…"

"O- Oh. You meant... why I k- _kissed_ you..." Rock was looking anywhere and everywhere, except for at Blues. "I- I'm sorry... I- I just..."

Blues cut him off by leaning forward and kissing him.

Rock was surprised at first, but melted into the kiss after only a moment. When he eventually pulled away, Rock was grinning widely. "I love you." he whispered, putting his forehead against Blues's.

Blues seemed bothered by something though, and after a while he said it, so quietly that it was inaudible to all except Rock. "I'm not sure robots are capable of love…"

Rock seemed startled for a moment. "W-What? Of _course_ we can!" He was enraged now. "Would I have stayed with you for _so long_ just to keep my promise if I- I hadn't _loved _you!? Would I have been ready to _die_ to save you!?" his voice was shaking again, "Would I have been... so... _scared_...?"

"Wh…" Blues began, taken aback. "Rock, I-"

Rock slapped him.

_"No."_ Tears were yet again overflowing from Rock's eyes. "I thought you were _dead._" His voice was full of emotion, and he could barely be heard. "I was ready to _die _to bring you back. But when you finally woke up, I- I was... so happy." He looked back to Blues. "So don't you _dare _tell me robots can't feel love, because I love you with all my heart."

Blues stared at him for a long moment, hurting from the slap more emotionally than physically. "I'm sorry…" He said. "I- It's just- I was afraid that it really _wasn't_ possible for robots to love, and I- I think I just needed someone to tell me I was _wrong, _because- because-"

Blues broke, throwing his arms around Rock and kissing him again.

"Because I love you, too." He said.

They stayed like that for a long time, each holding and comforting the other, until Rock realized that it was around three in the morning and he had yet to get any actual sleep. However, he didn't want to leave Blues yet, so he sat down on the table Blues was sitting on and rested his head on Blues's shoulder, playing with the sleeve of his shirt sleepily.

Blues smiled tiredly, reaching a hand up to run his fingers through Rock's hair. The calmness of the situation combined with the warmth of Rock's body was making him quite drowsy. "You know…" He said quietly, "You never broke your promises, that's for sure. And… I'm really grateful for that, honestly."

He blushed slightly as Blues lovingly played with the fluffy mass of hair on his head. "I _couldn't_ have broken the promise." He said. "You sounded so desperate and scared when you made me promise... You're normally the one who makes _me_ feel better when _I'm_ sad. I couldn't just ignore that when you came to _me_." Rock giggled. "And besides, it's been paid off now, hasn't it?" And he straightened up momentarily to kiss Blues's cheek.

Blues sighed, melting into the contact and putting his arms around Rock. "Yeah…" He said.

Eventually, he frowned, becoming concerned. "Oh… I forgot to mention this earlier, but I had a nightmare sometime while I was passed out…"

Rock looked at him anxiously. "Do you want to talk about it?"

For a moment, Blues said nothing. Eventually, however, he decided Rock deserved to know.

"I… It was… a lot of voices, mostly, and I couldn't really figure out who's they were, but they… kept _insulting _me, and a lot of them said stuff about how I was worthless or evil or things like that, and- and it _hurt._ They… kept saying that it was my fate to die anyway, and that I h- had nothing to fight for, and… For a while, I _believed _them. I- It was- It felt _awful_. And- and it just made me want t- to _die…_" He was in tears by now.

Rock held onto Blues's arm. He felt _sick._ Rock couldn't stand to see Blues like this, so full of self-hatred. He _knew_ Blues deserved to live- why couldn't some of that rub off onto _him?_ He waited patiently for Blues to continue, letting him get it all out at once before deciding what to say.

And Blues went on, after drying his eyes a little. "And then- You were there. You were- _crying,_ really hard, and you kept telling me not to go, not to leave you because you still _needed_ me. And- and you kept dragging me by the wrist and saying you were sorry, and when I asked why, you said it was because you promised-" Blues paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"You reminded me that- that I wasn't really worthless or evil. You proved them wrong, and I guess now I realize that I've had something to fight for all along, whether I knew it or not…"

"You saved me, Rock." He concluded, looking meaningfully into his eyes.

Rock's eyes were wide. "I- I _saved_ you?" Rock held onto Blues's arm even harder, staring at him, eyes wide, almost unbelieving.

Blues smiled. "Yeah. You never broke your promises, that's for sure…" He repeated. "You dragged me back out of the depths of my own hell and convinced me that I had a reason to live."

"I'm so glad." He said as he went back to Blues's shoulder. "You really _are_ a wonderful person, Blues. I don't know what I would have done if you had died without knowing that."

Blues hesitated. "I… I'm not really all that much of a great person-"

Rock glared at him. "Do you want me to slap you again?"

Blues turned away, miserable. "Y- You _see?_ I really _am_ an awful person…"

Rock turned Blues's face back toward him, smiling sadly, and kissed him again. "You are an amazing person. Would I love you if you weren't?"

"Ah… Probably not." Said Blues, smiling faintly. "But I'm too tired to bother arguing with you right now, anyway. And besides, how am I supposed to win if you just _kiss _me every time I disagree? That's totally unfair- not that I really have an issue with that…"

Rock grinned. "Yes, that is rather the point." he started laughing again, but was interrupted by another yawn.

Blues seemed a bit concerned. "You look tired, too…" He remarked. "Ah, no, I don't want to get up…" He complained weakly.

"Neither do I... Could we just stay here? I'm too sleepy and comfy to move."

Blues paused to consider, running his fingers thoughtfully through Rock's hair. "Oh, alright." He said eventually. He shifted a little and laid down. Rock repeated the movement, but laid his head on Blues's shoulder sleepily. His eyes were barely staying open.

Blues smiled drowsily, blushing at the closeness and warmth of the event, wrapping his arms around the sleepy figure of Rock and holding him close. He sighed contentedly, his eyes slowly closing. The only sound he could hear was the steady, quiet sound of Rock's core working, the little thumping noise that was usually inaudible because it was so quiet- the robot equivalent of a human's heartbeat. It was such a mesmerizing and rhythmic sound that Blues could practically _feel _it lulling him to sleep.

In the moments before he fell asleep, Blues reflected on the events of the day. _How does one go from being philosophical to almost dying to ACTUALLY dying to… Whatever this is?_

_Eh… I don't care… I'm much too tired to care. _


End file.
